There's a reason for everything.......

  

      My husband's last R&R for 2009 started November 8 and lasted until December 5. We intended to be together to celebrate our 3rd year anniversary and his birthday which came 7 days after our anniversary. Months before his arrival, I have frequently been visiting my gyne for some check ups and preparations in  the hope that we can successfuly conceive this time. Just like any other couple, we desire to have a kid, or should i say kids. Yes, we are no different. In the past three years, I have been longing to have our firs baby  and evey time i get my period or pegtest indicates "negative", I would just lay in bed in frustration. A few days delay in your monthly visit makes you somehow excited and crazily anticipate that you are on your way. But period would still arrive. Negative, negative, negative. How frustrating, indeed.

       For this R&R, my hopes are high, he is staying for 28 days and I will be in my fertile period during his stay.  Then, I missed my period on the expected day, then on the next day, then on the next. I have been rejoicing silently, hoping and crossing my fingers that this is it. Until it startred - I had spots, I bled. Still not convinced, I took a quick pregnancy test and it was again, negative. I became weak, cried and thought of so many things. I was asking what was wrong. I have been sad for a couple of days or more.  My husband would always cheer me up saying, "it will happen in due time", and my simple reply would be, " I'm old, I'm 30, I'm old."

        But everything changed. After the car accident  I got involved with more than a week ago, I realized a lot of things. One is that maybe, JUST MAYBE, God did not allow me to get pregnant becuse i will be in the car crash. If i was pregnant that time,  I could have a miscarriage during the impact - I would lose my baby, and that would be a very terrible, terrible thing to happen.  And the ultimate reason - its not yet the right time. God is good, cause now i am still alive and can have many chances of getting pregnant. Everything happens for a reason. The "have not gotten pregnant" , the "accident", - they all happened for a reason. It was God's way to tell me that there is time for everything. This I learned.

       When we ask something in our prayers, God answers  - and his answer is either Yes, No or Wait. I know He will give us the desire of our hearts, I just have to wait. I just have to be patient, as the saying goes "patience is virtue".